Sunday, December 23, 2012

If you're left wanting more...

 


I don't really blog anymore, only every once in awhile for my one friend, (Sheree) who isn't on facebook.  I really love that I can keep in touch with old friends through facebook...but, sometimes it is hard to tell what is actually going on in their lives through facebook posts.  You know those status updates like, "So glad that's over" or "I can't believe this, I am so mad/sad/excited right now" and unless you are in their close inner circle, you don't really know what's going on.  You also kind of get a false sense of staying in touch with someone through facebook--like I recently ran into two of my old high school friends who were both very pregnant and I had no idea.  I didn't realize that it had been months and months since I had actually had real contact with them.  So, while facebook might be really great for sharing our political views (said tongue in cheek, because I actually am not down with that at all) or for sharing funny anecdotes about our days....if you have been left wanting to know more about my life from the little bits I do share on facebook, this post is for you. 

You can consider this my version of a Christmas update letter.  I will tie up some of those unanswered questions from blog posts past, for those of you who have been on the edge of your seats.

It has been almost 3 years since my husband lost the job he had had since before we got married.  That was a MAJOR event in the life of the Wilson family and in some ways it has only been the last couple of months that things have finally started to settle down.  My husband has had a couple of different jobs since then, one of which took him to Washington for 6 months without us in 2010 and one which took him to Boise for 4 months in 2012.  I went with him to Boise for a couple of those months and I hated it.  (See previous post.)  He was a technician for a satellite TV company and it was looking like he would have to go to different offices around the U.S. each summer.  But, this Fall he was offered a job in their corporate office as regional manager and he gets to work close to home.  He is back on a salary, with benefits, and a normal daily schedule.  It is AMAZING!  After several years of uncertainty, I am finally starting to feel stable again.  I guess you never know for sure what can happen.  (Experiencing a job loss can be traumatic and you never feel all the way secure after that.) 

For me the last several years have been a journey of self-discovery (sort of.)  Actually being a "single mother" for a big chunk of that time, (and the months my husband was in Utah he was working long, unpredictable hours 6 days a week), had my living in survival mode.  The first year after his job loss, I worked a job from home.  That is a blessing and a huge challenge!  I have such a huge respect and admiration for working mothers.  (Don't worry, I have a ton of respect and admiration for stay-at-home Moms too.)  But, adding a job and those demands to the demands of Mother is just insane.   I decided after a year that I needed to use my time to invest in my future by finishing my BA degree, so that if my husband ever lost his income again I could support the family at more than $8.00 an hour. 

So, here I am a year later since starting the Bachelor of General Studies program at BYU still plugging along at my BA.  I only have 15 credit hours remaining, but it seems to be taking forever.  I am going slower than I intended to, thanks to a bout of mono that took me out for a whole summer and thanks to my own propensity to always put my studies last on my list.  All of my classes are through Independent Study and I have a year to complete each class.  That makes it all too easy to put it off.  And as the 2nd counselor in the Primary presidency and a mother of 3, there are always seem to be more pressing demands. 

I have basically abandoned all of my other aspirations and pursuits.  I no longer do styling for my photographer friend.  I no longer do my fashion/beauty blog.  I have really lost all interest in beauty and fashion.  Being short on economic and emotional resources doesn't leave anything leftover for that.  Of course I still care about womanhood and virtue and valuing yourself and all that stuff, but I just don't have the extra time or energy to go on about it right now.  My family is of course my top priority, my calling and my schooling take up the rest of my energy.  I think I was just sort of trying out that other stuff for size and it just didn't fit.  I did actually write an LDS book and someday I hope to do something with that, but just not today. 

So, that's me.  I guess if this is going to be a legit update letter I better tell you a bit about my kids.  I still have only 3 and I hope to keep it that way.  I actually really, really love being done with the baby and toddler phase.   My kids are now 8, 6, and 4 and I love those ages.  They are young enough to still adore me and old enough to dress themselves.  It is perfect!



Gavin is 8.  He finally learned how to tie his shoes! That is a huge deal for us.  Because he has only one hand it has proved a huge challenge.  I haven't had any idea how to teach him, 'cause I can't even do it myself.  We watched videos about one-handed shoe tying on youtube, but he never quite got it until one day he just sat there and tried and tried.  He rides his bike without a special handlebar now and he usually adapts to just about anything. I'm sure he has more challenges ahead because of his arm, but the shoe tying helps him prove to himself that he can find a way to overcome! 


Nicholas is 6 and he started first grade this year.  I felt a much bigger jump from Kindergarten to first grade than I did from Pre-school to Kindergarten.  A lot is expected of these little ones in first grade and I have seen Nick grow so much in just these past few months.  This boy is filled with so much joy and enthusiasm.  He is outgoing, social, and talks a lot!  (We know which parent he gets that from.)  He is also wise beyond his 6 years.



Ruby is 4 and I'm not sure what words to even describe this girl.  She is just so Ruby!  She's a tomboy and a princess all at the same time.  She is super independent and a major Mama's girl all at the same time.  She has stretched my parenting skills to a whole new (and often) uncomfortable level.  I hope I can keep up with this girl.  She is also sweet, affectionate, and adorable.  She will charm you to pieces.
 

 
So, that's all of us.   I feel so grateful to have 3 great kids and a husband who works so hard for us!  I love being a stay-at-home Mom with my kids, despite the fact that I complain about it regularly.  I don't get sad about the years going by and my kids getting bigger.  I actually love watching them turn into little people.  They are all such unique personalities and I'm proud to be their Mom.  Most days I feel like I'm not doing a good enough job, but just for today I am going to say that we are pretty much the raddest family in the world!!

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Boy, oh, Boise!

I never blog anymore but since my best friend is one of the last people on earth who is not on facebook, I wanted to show her some of our adventures.  I also kind of wanted to document the whole experience.  It has been an interesting time for our family.  I look at these pictures of all the fun things we've been doing and I think, "Why am I not having fun?" I will try not to start complaining (I only seem to blog when I am lamenting my troubles) and I am trying really hard to be positive.  I'm not sure why I'm not enjoying this time.  I would venture to guess that the biggest reason is that I have had MONO since before I moved here.  I was sick for 2 weeks and went to the doctor's twice before they finally diagnosed me.  I have felt pretty awful the whole time I've been here.  I was doing a little better for a few weeks and then I got a cold, followed by a sinus infection, that has aggravated all the mono symptoms and made me miserable again.   So, I will blame it on that and not on the fact that maybe I am a big baby who hates change and uncertainty and being away from my friends and family.  I guess my sisters got all the tough and adventurous DNA--(one has lived in Russia/Ukraine the other has lived and travelled everywhere) and I got left with wuss DNA because I can't even hack it in Boise, Idaho! 

Boise is actually a great place.  It has all the stores and restaurants a girl could want, everything to do is within a 15 minute drive, it is clean, the parks and museums are amazing, even my apartment is fine.

Our ward has been very friendly and welcoming.  They included Gavin in cub scouts right away and it turns out that my Bishop is my second cousin!  It's just hard to get very involved or make friends when I am staying such a short time. 

I think that's the other thing besides the mono that is difficult.  I feel so unsettled here. I was here for a few weeks, then back in Utah for a few weeks, then back here for a few weeks, and it's just been too much disruption for my kids.  2 months is neither vacation or home and my kids are feeling it. 

I have learned a lot about myself these last few weeks.  (Mostly that I am a huge wimp.)  I am taking some of these challenges and trying to overcome them and become a better person, and hopefully a better Mom.  You just never know what life might require of you.  A few months in Boise is not what I would classify as a HUGE trial or anything, yet it is working me over a bit.   Live and learn and grow, I guess!  

It has definitely made me appreciate home even more.  I usually complain about my house being too small, but after living in an apartment, I see it VERY differently.  I love my home.  I love my own bed.  I LOVE my backyard and the play place where I can kick the kids out to when they are driving me crazy during summer break.  I love my wonderful neighbors.  And it turns out I even really love primary!  They did not release me from my calling in the Primary presidency while I have been in Boise, so I will go back to it when I get home.  I miss it more than I ever expected to.  

So, in summation, let me make it clear that in no way is my experience a reflection on Boise.  I have no complaints about the area.  We have done about everything we can do to make the most of it.  Someday, when I'm looking back I hope I will realize that I might've had some fun in there somewhere.