Janey made this for Jessica, our oldest sister's, birthday. See if you know the song and the artist and the lyrics. Play with your hubbies and keep track of the points. It's nostalgic.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Friday, January 9, 2009
Mini-Me
Ruby looks like me. Even I can see it. My parents comment all the time on how much she reminds them of Baby Tiffy. So here's a comparison. I think it should be obvious if it's me or Ruby because of the quality of the photo. I can see the resemblance. . .can you?
We're both 3rd children, so she, like me, has to tolerated a sibling in her face all the time!
We're both 3rd children, so she, like me, has to tolerated a sibling in her face all the time!
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Postpartum Something
Before I even start this post, I want to let all readers know that they are absolutely NOT allowed to leave comments telling me that I am beautiful. I know it sounds weird, but you will understand as I go on. I am sharing my innermost workings just for catharsis. Or in case it somehow makes someone else, who has similar feelings, feel better. I DO NOT want to be placated or validated in any way! So be warned. . .
So, I am having my postpartum identity crisis. It has happened after each kid. Only this time I'm 30, so I feel like it's worse. I think pregnancy makes me uglier each time. It has done weird things to my skin. It has changed the texture of my hair. I think it actually has made my nose bigger. And, of course, I don't even have to talk about what it has done to my body! I'm just feeling hopelessly ugly! And I know it is so shallow. I wish I was so evolved and mature that I didn't care. . .but, I do.
I only really have 3 shirts and 3 pair of pants that fit me. My weight loss has kind of plateaued, and I'm sure the holidays didn't help any. So that is frustrating. It will probably take a major effort to get off the last 10 (or ideally 15) pounds. They are going to be more stubborn now that I'm 30!
It's not like I've ever had a Bikini Body, so I don't have unrealistic expectations, I just want to fit in my clothes.
I just have issues about beauty, I always have. Growing up I was not a cute child. My "awkward" stage lasted from about 5-17. I struggled with my weight in high school and college. And I just felt like an ugly duckling compared to my pretty sisters. I think it's a red-head thing, people kind of treat you like you're ugly just for having red hair and fair skin.
I eventually blossomed and learned to make the most of what I was working with. I think I became the most beautiful after I met Michael. You know, like he was my Johnny Lingo and made me feel like a 10 cow woman, so I became one. (Or maybe more like 8 cows, in my case.) Anyway, I even felt good enough about myself to dabble in modeling. Wow! I look at that now and am so amazed that I did that. But, then I look at those pictures and feel like I've fallen so far from modelesque to frumpy Mom.
I guess I'm not a total loss. I enjoy a lot of things about beauty. I love make-up, and hair, and clothes and all that fun girlie stuff. I haven't given up altogether. I try to do my best to enhance the good and hide the bad. It is fun. For the most part, I don't do it for approval or self-esteem, I do it because I enjoy it and it makes me feel good. And there are plenty of days when I don't care and I will go out in public in jeans and a hoodie with no make-up.
It just feels like in the last year (spent pregnant and postpartum) I have felt doomed to feel ugly forever. Like I can't undo the damage done by pregnancy and aging.
Mike recently got back in touch with some of his old girlfriends on Facebook, and objectively speaking, they are prettier than me. It is so immature of me to even think like that. I wish I was so much more evolved than that, comfortable and secure in the love I share with my husband. But, no, I'm lame and insecure and start worrying that he wishes he would've married one of those prettier girls instead.
Now, I feel really exposed after sharing this with the world. It's okay. When I write it out like this I realize how silly it really is. Sometimes when it just swims around and around in my head so long it just gets bigger and bigger. I don't have low self-esteem. I feel pretty good about myself, in general. I have had so many health problems in the past, that I truly do understand that having a healthy body is more important than having a hot body.
My life's experiences really have taught me a lot. I look forward to helping my own daughter to have a positive self-image. It's just that every once in awhile (and more often after pregnancy), my inner teenager shows up and starts messing with me. I'm sure I'm not the only one. It seems like, as women, we are doomed to the pitfalls of worrying about weight, worrying about beauty, worrying about aging, etc. I just hope that I can find that place where I can see the big picture more easily--reconcile my beauty and worth as a daughter of God, and a mother of 3 amazing souls, to how I feel about myself on a daily basis. I wish I could have more righteous priorities, and not waste my energies on thinking about how big my nose is (something over which I ultimately have no control) or what else I can do to finally be "pretty."
It's definitely worse postpartum. I bet a good night's sleep makes everyone not only feel, but actually look more beautiful! =)
So, I am having my postpartum identity crisis. It has happened after each kid. Only this time I'm 30, so I feel like it's worse. I think pregnancy makes me uglier each time. It has done weird things to my skin. It has changed the texture of my hair. I think it actually has made my nose bigger. And, of course, I don't even have to talk about what it has done to my body! I'm just feeling hopelessly ugly! And I know it is so shallow. I wish I was so evolved and mature that I didn't care. . .but, I do.
I only really have 3 shirts and 3 pair of pants that fit me. My weight loss has kind of plateaued, and I'm sure the holidays didn't help any. So that is frustrating. It will probably take a major effort to get off the last 10 (or ideally 15) pounds. They are going to be more stubborn now that I'm 30!
It's not like I've ever had a Bikini Body, so I don't have unrealistic expectations, I just want to fit in my clothes.
I just have issues about beauty, I always have. Growing up I was not a cute child. My "awkward" stage lasted from about 5-17. I struggled with my weight in high school and college. And I just felt like an ugly duckling compared to my pretty sisters. I think it's a red-head thing, people kind of treat you like you're ugly just for having red hair and fair skin.
I eventually blossomed and learned to make the most of what I was working with. I think I became the most beautiful after I met Michael. You know, like he was my Johnny Lingo and made me feel like a 10 cow woman, so I became one. (Or maybe more like 8 cows, in my case.) Anyway, I even felt good enough about myself to dabble in modeling. Wow! I look at that now and am so amazed that I did that. But, then I look at those pictures and feel like I've fallen so far from modelesque to frumpy Mom.
I guess I'm not a total loss. I enjoy a lot of things about beauty. I love make-up, and hair, and clothes and all that fun girlie stuff. I haven't given up altogether. I try to do my best to enhance the good and hide the bad. It is fun. For the most part, I don't do it for approval or self-esteem, I do it because I enjoy it and it makes me feel good. And there are plenty of days when I don't care and I will go out in public in jeans and a hoodie with no make-up.
It just feels like in the last year (spent pregnant and postpartum) I have felt doomed to feel ugly forever. Like I can't undo the damage done by pregnancy and aging.
Mike recently got back in touch with some of his old girlfriends on Facebook, and objectively speaking, they are prettier than me. It is so immature of me to even think like that. I wish I was so much more evolved than that, comfortable and secure in the love I share with my husband. But, no, I'm lame and insecure and start worrying that he wishes he would've married one of those prettier girls instead.
Now, I feel really exposed after sharing this with the world. It's okay. When I write it out like this I realize how silly it really is. Sometimes when it just swims around and around in my head so long it just gets bigger and bigger. I don't have low self-esteem. I feel pretty good about myself, in general. I have had so many health problems in the past, that I truly do understand that having a healthy body is more important than having a hot body.
My life's experiences really have taught me a lot. I look forward to helping my own daughter to have a positive self-image. It's just that every once in awhile (and more often after pregnancy), my inner teenager shows up and starts messing with me. I'm sure I'm not the only one. It seems like, as women, we are doomed to the pitfalls of worrying about weight, worrying about beauty, worrying about aging, etc. I just hope that I can find that place where I can see the big picture more easily--reconcile my beauty and worth as a daughter of God, and a mother of 3 amazing souls, to how I feel about myself on a daily basis. I wish I could have more righteous priorities, and not waste my energies on thinking about how big my nose is (something over which I ultimately have no control) or what else I can do to finally be "pretty."
It's definitely worse postpartum. I bet a good night's sleep makes everyone not only feel, but actually look more beautiful! =)
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