The Primary Program

I have been looking forward to having a Sunbeam in the Primary program for years!!! So, today my Gavin had his debut in a Primary program. I just had a baby two weeks ago, but I did not want to miss it. So, I actually got myself and Miss Ruby ready and to church by 9am. That was no easy feat, and I did not feel great doing it, but I just couldn't wait to see Gavin in the program. He knows the words to almost all of the songs for the program, so I was hoping he would sing his little heart out.

So, here's the reality of how things went down.
First, my sweet, little Sunbeam spends the whole program crying. I don't even know why. He stayed on the stand, but just kept crying. He would stop crying long enough to sing the songs, but whenever they would sing a song, there were older kids standing in front of the stand completely obstructing my view of Gavin. Honestly, I couldn't see him at all! The adorable Sunbeam I've been dreaming of for years couldn't even be seen. When I could see him he was crying his little eyes out. I couldn't believe that I actually got up and put makeup on for that!
But, it gets better (or worse):
So, Nick was having a "day." He totally flips out with excitement when I come into church with Ruby. He is like climbing on me, climbing on her carseat, beside himself trying to get to her. It was like a wrestling match trying to keep him off of her in that little pew. He was also so excited to see Gavin on the stand. So, he kept standing up yelling, "Hi Gavin!" Then, he stands up on Mike's legs puts his arms out and yells, "Superman!"
Nick, then decides he wants to be with the other kids. So, he walks up to the front gives our neighbor kid a high 5. . .and turns around and yells, "Hey Mommy wave at me!" Then, he starts running all around the chapel. I had to take him to the hall after that and he never stopped pitching a huge fit until after the program was done.

So, thus ends my first Primary program with my child in it. I'm so disappointed. It was such an exhausting blur. I'm definitely going to have to skip church next week to compensate!

Two Weeks

Ruby is 2 weeks old now. I'm just so darn tired. I haven't written anything on the blog for nearly 2 weeks, also, because I am so darn tired. Ruby is an angel who sleeps most of the time. I have had tons of help with my boys. So, I have had lots of time to rest and yet I am so darn tired.

So, until I can be a little more clever, or at least a little more coherent--I will have to make this a purely pictorial post. So, here are some pictures of my little "gem."

The Agony & The Ecstasy

The Ecstasy:

Ruby Elizabeth Wilson came into the world on Wednesday, Oct. 8th at 5:07AM! She weighed 6lbs 9oz, 18 inches long, and much to my surprise, she was born with a head full of brown hair! She is beautiful and angelic and her brothers just want to hold her and kiss her all the time.

The Agony:

For those of you who like to hear all the miserable details of labor and delivery, I will recount them now. For any of you who read my previous blog entry, you know that I've been feeling miserable and especially anxious for the last week. My due date wasn't until October 23rd, but both of my boys were 2 weeks early. . .and I just knew it was getting really close. My body was so ready. My doctor has been telling me for more than a week that I was getting so close and progressing so well. . .which actually made things seem slower.

Anyway, at my 38 week appointment on Tuesday, the doctor tells me that he doesn't think I'll make it to my next appointment. He says I am so close and he decides to go ahead and strip my membranes. For any of you who have experienced that, it is miserable. I felt horrible the rest of the day. I felt nauseous and was having really severe contractions. As yucky as I felt, I got anxious and thought I was having some progress. So, my Mom and I decided to go walking up by Bridal Veil falls to help send me over the edge. Well, during my walk I actually felt much better and stopped having contractions. Darn it. I went to bed without any contractions.

At 3AM the following morning (Wednesday), I suddenly wake up because I think my water broke. It was just a little bit, I wasn't even sure what had happened. I didn't even feel any contractions. . . .and then it hit me! It all progressed so quickly. I was just going to wait and hang out as long as I could stand it. I hadn't even awakened Michael at this point. But, then it started happening so quickly that I had to act fast. I packed my bags, called my Mom to come over, woke up Michael, and headed off to the hospital by 4AM. I let Michael stop at Walker's to get a drink, I thought we had plenty of time (my labor with my last child lasted like 15 hours), but by the time we got to the hospital, which is like 8 mins away, I was screaming in pain. The contractions were so fast and long and horrible. It seemed to take forever for them to assess me and decide I was actually in labor. Come on people I need drugs!!! It was getting to be unlike any labor I had ever before experienced. It was horrible! I was screaming and crying and the nurses had to teach me how to breathe, even how to scream. (Apparently you are supposed scream at a low pitch, and grunt, rather than high pitched squealing.) So, the anesthesiologist comes to give me my epidural, and I was shaking so hard and crying and the nurse had to teach me some lamaze breathing technique so that I wouldn't bear down too soon. Well, in the process of prepping me for the epidural they realize that the baby was coming out and I did not have time for an epidural. So he decides to give me a spinal block as quickly as possible. Even though it was happening so quickly, there was no way in hell I wanted to do it naturally. Before my legs were even completely numb, I was pushing the baby out. (My doctor didn't even have time to get to the hospital.) The baby's heart rate started dropping, so they just had me push nonstop as hard as I could. The doctor called for forceps. . .that freaked me out, so I pushed my little guts out and she finally popped out! (Forceps weren't needed afterall, but I did have a major episiotomy.) I had pushed for less than 5 minutes--about 55 minutes less than my previous baby. It was crazy and awesome!

I actually consider it a much harder and more painful labor than anything I had ever before experienced, but it went so fast! It kind of left me and Michael both in shock. We were like, "Seriously, that's it? We did it?" And yes, there are many who might say, "You could've done it naturally. The drugs only worked for the last 10 minutes." But, that spinal block was like a gift from God. I shudder to think of what it might have been like to do it "naturally." I experienced more labor than I'd ever intended to. I can not believe that women have done this "naturally" every day since the dawn of time.

So that was my agony. I thought it was frightening and awful, and I behaved like a deranged lunatic. But, you just can't beat a two-hour from start to finish labor and delivery. Ruby and I both came through it healthy and happy.

She is so tiny, even her newborn size clothes don't fit.
This one looks a lot like baby pictures of me. Her hair almost looks red in this picture, too.
They never leave this poor kid alone. She has already been smooshed, smashed, poked, licked, nearly stepped on, etc. . . But, someday they will be the ones protecting her!

P.S. For those of you who participated in my blog poll "Vanessa vs. Natalie"--I apologize that your input was not needed or even considered. The name Ruby just kind of hit me a week or so ago, and I fell more in love with it every day.

More Talking, No Pictures

So, my efforts to document my cute children's adventures and post more pictures of them and to talk less about myself didn't last very long. They are cute, I even took pictures of them on Gavin's little field trip yesterday, and yet all I really feel like doing is talking.

It is really, impossibly hard for me to think of anything else right now other than getting this baby out! Technically my due date isn't until the 23rd, but I think it really needs to happen this weekend. My other babies were two weeks early, so I figure I'm close enough. Next weekened is extremely inconvenient for everyone in my extended family (whom I need to care for my boys), and Michael really doesn't want to have a baby in the middle of the week. I do not think I can last much longer. I feel like I'm going crazy inside this oh-so-uncomfortable body of mine. I'm having constant contractions. . .but, they say that can go on for weeks! Seriously?!?!

How can I make time go by faster? Every day has slowed to a crawl. The nights are long too because I wake up constantly in pain, or to go potty, and can't get back to sleep. I need something to look forward to each day. But, I just feel like I'm waiting, waiting, wondering, waiting. It is starting to cause me a lot of anxiety.

I'm sure I must have felt like this with each of my pregnancies, but I can't remember it. Right now it seems like this is the absolute worst it has ever been--the most pain, the most contractions, the most restlessnes, the slowest days in the history of the world.

I guess I can't complain. I don't know how women must feel who have gone over their due date. I've never even made it to 39 weeks before. It just seems unbearable to actually make it to my due date right now. AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! Any suggestions, anyone?????