"Blogstabbing"

Blog-stab-bing--verb; play on the word "back-stabbing"
1. Using information and/or commentary on someone's blog (usually out of context or in a misconstrued way) as fodder for gossip and backbiting about them. 2. Reading a blog for the purpose of fueling your own dislike of that person. (I just made this term up, and the definition, but it gets the point across.)

Perhaps I am naive, but I was under the mistaken impression that most people read the blogs of people they consider friends--that when you read someone's blog it is because you care about that person and want to stay in touch with what is going on in their life. I have LOVED blogging--it has helped me make new friends as well as reconnect with old friends. But, I have heard rumors of the possible down side of blogging. I have learned the hard way that there are people, and these people are considered ADULTS (at least legally, anyway) who "blogstab." These types of petty people have most likely been like this since, oh I would guess, JUNIOR HIGH, but now they just have better technology than note passing.

Despite my initial protective instinct, I have decided NOT to take my blog private. I have loved keeping it open so that people can find me easily. I have always been open and honest on this blog about my own imperfections and insecurities, operating under the assumption that I was among friends. And while I have received so much love and support, I will definitely be more mindful in the future and possibly protect myself a little more.

It has not been my intent to show off how "awesome" I am on my blog. If you read my blog and you leave thinking I am awesome, that is okay with me. But, if you read my blog and you don't like what you read. . .feel free to stop reading at anytime and return to the blogs of your friends (that is, if you have any left after talking so much crap about them.) So, the bottom line of this post is: take me for what I am, or leave me--no, seriously, please leave me!

The Nicest Person in the World

I have to publicly thank my amazing friend Kacey, who just did the nicest thing anyone has done for me in a long while. Kacey just came from Florida with her two babies (19 mos. and 4 mos.) She had to fly here by herself and I'm sure she was so excited to finally have her family to help give her a much needed break. But, she, in an act of selfless service that I'm not sure I would ever be capable of, decided to leave her kids with her Mom on Friday night and come over to my house to stay with MY kids so that me and my husband could go on a date for the first time in I can't remember when. It was wonderful! I'm just so floored by how much she was willing to go out of her way (she called me and set the whole thing up), and give up her precious alone time, and stay up way too late, just for me. She could tell that I was struggling when I went out with her and my other girlfriends the night before. And she saw my need, and didn't hesitate. What an amazing person! Her one act of service taught me so much about friendship and service, and that I need to inconvenience myself a little more in order to help others. Kacey, when you read this, I want you to know that I think you have a heart of gold. You are such an example to me. It just came so naturally to you to offer help. I hope I can become more like that, where service just comes so naturally that I don't even have to think twice about it. Thank you, Kace, I love you. If there's ever anything I can do for anyone reading this, please ask me. Sometimes I just think I am so maxed out with my 3 kids and piles of laundry, but I really do WANT to serve in any way I can.

Finally feeling like Spring!

It seemed to take forever. . .but, it finally feels like Spring. Actually, outside right now it's still too cold for me, but at least it's raining instead of snowing. It's MAY and we're only just now starting to get 3-4 warm days in a row. But, on the good days. . .we are really taking advantage of SPRING. I'm so excited that Ruby gets to start wearing her warm weather clothes. It better finally warm up once and for all, because she's growing out of everything with long sleeves! So, here she is in a cute "Springy" dress.

My kids love the warm weather and are outside every chance they get. But, I have to get a big sandbox ASAP, because they and all their friends will find somewhere to dig at any cost! It makes me a little crazy, because they will dig up my yard, and I am desperately trying to make the grass grow in better. I actually really hate the dirt, I know I have little boys so I need to get used to it, but dirt and mud tracked all around my house makes me nuts. So, here is Nick having a blast in the mud--Dad was in charge during this time--because I don't think I could have just calmly sat by and allowed this to happen. He sat there singing a song that went something like this, "I love nasty mud, I love nasty dirt, Mud is awesome, I love mud." (He got the "nasty dirt" part from me.) Aaaaah, such is Springtime, I guess.

Be thou humble, in thy callings

Since this blog is my journal as well as my scrapbook, I had to write about my new calling as Gospel Doctrine teacher. Luckily, I team-teach with another guy, so I only have to teach every other week. But, this calling has been far more humbling than I expected. You see, I love teaching. I have taught gospel doctrine before in a student ward, I also taught Relief Society for two years, and I mean I'm the offspring of Brent L. Top--it should be an intrinsic part of my DNA. So, I wasn't nearly as intimidated by this calling as I should have been. With each lesson I have become increasingly more nervous and self-conscious. That doesn't even make any sense! It has just brought out some of my weaknesses and personality pitfalls. (For those of you who know me well, these won't come as news to you.) For example, I talk TOO MUCH and TOO FAST. Most of that is because I am nervous, but it is also that I have been learning so much in my study of the Doctrine & Covenants and the history of the church that I just want to share it all. But, I also am trying too hard to prove how much I know about the subject matter. I just want to be taken seriously by all the old men in the class. I am trying so hard to be a great teacher, that I am forgetting to really let the greatest teacher--the Spirit--take over.

I also have to admit that I need to be better about leading the class in a discussion rather than just talking the whole time. But, if any of you have a ward with a lot of elderly people you will understand what I'm about to say--I'm sort of afraid to open it up to comments too much because they sometimes say the weirdest things. That scares me a little. I know, though, that the people in the class need to be included in the discussion because each of us receives our own insights from the spirit, and we each have different experiences and perspectives that can enhance the doctrines. So, I'm trying to do better.

Those are just a few of my weaknesses. I guess I am grateful for the new experience and the challenge. It really is humbling me so much. i have to keep being reminded that this class is not about ME it is about HIM. I am, however, so grateful for this because it has scared me into reading my scriptures and studying the gospel more. I guess I had to be compelled to be humble. I hope I can keep doing better, but at least I know I'll be blessed just for trying.

California

The first week of March I went on vacation to Newport Beach, CA with my Mom, my sister and her 7 kids. (That makes 3 adults and 10 kids.) It was really crazy! It had AWESOME moments and AWFUL moments. It was quite an adventure. I'm really glad my Mom decided to come because I couldn't have done it without her. My two smallest children seemed to have a hard time with travelling and with being surrounded by so many kids all the time. But, Gavin had a blast with all his cousins! And. . . .the BEACH, oh the BEACH. Whenever we were at the beach all our troubles were forgotten. It made all the stress and chaos (and fighting with my sister) worthwhile.

I feel badly that my sister and I had some tension. She was the one who orchestrated the trip and paid for the accomodations and it was really, really wonderful of her to include me and my kids. (Thanks, Jess!) But, it's just a little nuts to travel with 10 kids--which included my baby, 3 five year olds, and my 2 year old who screamed most of the time. So, I got a little too impatient and a little too ornery by the end. But, now that it's over, I'm just remembering the fun times.

Me and 8 kids at Disney's California Adventure Park. (My Mom kept my two little ones.) Someone told us to go here instead of Disneyland and that it was better for little kids (3-5). . .but, once we were there we wished we would've done Disneyland. For anyone who goes, if you don't get the park hopper pass and you have to choose just one park, choose Disneyland. The good thing about this park instead of Disneyland was that the lines were much shorter, so we got to do a lot more stuff. But, Disneyland is Disneyland. This one was pretty much like any amusement park anywhere. It was actually really fun, the kids were really good, nobody got lost, and Gavin got to ride his first roller coaster.

Some tidepools at Laguna Beach. Do you see the starfish?

Sunset at Laguna Beach (we loved this beach!)

This is how Ruby hung out at the beach--in my front pack. She loved it!


Flying kites at Newport Beach. I hope my kids know that they have the best Grandma ever. I love you Mom!

Excitement

So, I mentioned that the past month has been more eventful than most. So, here are some of the things that have been going on:
1--We went to California for 5 days. I went with me and my 3 kids, my sister and her 7 kids, and my Mom. It was quite an adventure, to say the least, and I will do another post about that later because I still don't have my pictures from my sister's laptop.
2--I got called to teach gospel doctrine. Whoa. That is also something I will probably do a whole post about. I thought I liked teaching, but this has been more challenging than I ever expected! I also kept my other calling with Activity Days for the 8-9 year old girls. So, that's made for a few crazy weeks. (But, it makes me feel super righteous to have 2 callings! j/k)
3--Gavin had his 5th birthday. Yes, I have been a mother for 5 years! Wow! Fastest 5 years of my life. And like a sucker, I let him have a birthday party for all his cousins and friends. It ended up being 15 kids (mind you, my house is about 1400 sq. ft.) Thank goodness it was a beautiful day so I could send everyone outside.

Here are some highlights:

Superman themed birthday party (and that's his Superman pose.)
This is his present from me and Mike--I had to find this bad boy on Ebay. It has sound effects, red laser eyes, and a cape that "flies"--it was a hit!

Mike made the Superman cake. Mike was my own personal superhero because he helped me pull off a birthday party (complete with lunch) for 15 kids.

Aunt Jessica got Gavin his first bike. He's just learning how to ride and, even with training wheels, it makes me so nervous. But, it's also awesome. Gavin is starting to do things that when he was born we wondered how he would be able to do them with one hand. We thought we would have to engineer special handle bars for him or something, but he is adapting beautifully. If he isn't concentrating though, sometimes he does veer to the left! :)

Since Gavin upgraded to a bike, Nick got the old trike. I think he's pretty cute!

This is Ruby after the birthday festivities. I felt exactly the same way!!

I'm Back!

I haven't had a computer in nearly a month. One week of that was because I was on vacation in California, the rest was because PC Laptops is the DEVIL and they act like they have a monopoly on compter repairs and they don't really need to be nice to you or fix your computer in a timely manner.

ANYWAY, I just wanted you all to know that I'm back. I don't have time (or the pictures I need) to do a real post right now. But, if you care, check back. Because the ironic thing is that the one month that I don't have a computer--interesting things actually happened in my life, for a change. To be continued. . .